Toxic masculinity is term to describe the behaviour of male socialised people that have negative influence on FLINTA* (females, lesbians, intersex, nonbinary, trans* and agender people) as well as men and persons perceived as men. Because of this socialisation people raised as males often times don’t learn how to access and talk about their emotions, which makes it hard for themselves to cope with them and communicate with others about it. This does not only harm them but others, e.g. when they’re not able to express their emotions in a conflict. People raised as male are trained to not show weaknesses, don’t act in ways perceived as being female, hide their emotions, solve problems on their own and much more. Other people perceived as males, who do not adapt these behaviours, are not being taken seriously and therefore will be stripped of their anticipated masculinity, resulting in mockery or even violence.
Thus the conflict appears in the relationships between male socialised people and others. Hegemonial masculinity describes that they find themselves in constant rivalry with other men and male socialised and/or perceived people, which creates an environment of constant competition between them - hence a lot of pressure. This happens most often with male people that are perceived as weaker because they don’t fit socially constructed stereotypes, for example gay or trans* men, both groups will essentially be not taken serious as men.
But male socialised people especially try to ensure their dominant social position over FLINTA* and secure their power among others.
Feminism is not only for FLINTA*, who are repressed by patriarchy.
It also should be used to empower men and break stereotypes for their own wellbeing. Men should be (raised to be) able to listen to each other, talk about and show their emotions, reflect their behaviour, don’t put themselves over other people, listen to people who are discriminated, take responsibility for their actions and be open minded (for others). In the end, all these abilities will help male socialised people to create healthier lifes for themselves too.
Empowerment is about creating a positive image of yourself to be confident about yourself but not harmful to others, support other people in their identity and help other men and people socialised as those in their process to break toxic masculinity and communities.
This should not happen at the expense of others.